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shame is good for you.
14 July 2005 @ 10:13 pm
all the while
i was trying to keep her there
now i’m man enough to leave
man enough to always care
hummingbird
hummingbird

that’s all i heard
that’s my hummingbird

just because i said i didn’t want her
doesn’t mean i want her to go
in fact, i quite depended on her
but that i didn’t want her to know
now that’s she’s gone i know
all the while
i was trying to keep her there
now man enough to leave
man enough to always care




Who knows?
 
 
shame is good for you.
14 July 2005 @ 02:16 am
LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:just_likeawoman
Your haiku:just sucks what am i
don't know what the problem here
either but rather
Username:
Created by Grahame




Tonight was a fuckin awesome night with the girls. Meet me in the Mcdonald's parking lot, we'll be ghet-toe fabulous again.

Awesome.

Anyways I have sleep to sleep and people to talk to so I don't make other people assholes. Actually I'm quite excited for this talking-to. I have a lot to say, balls to say it and a stack of courage anyone would want.

Wish me luck. This could mean the end of everything but it's worth it.

I don't like the person I became when I'm around you. Maybe I can help you figure shit out.



You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it

Your caffeine addiction level: high




How bloody true.






LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:just_likeawoman
Your haiku:being driven over
to our house for a judge or
jury to decide
Username:
Created by Grahame
 
 
shame is good for you.
12 July 2005 @ 07:45 pm
God I just want to get out of the fuckin' house. Is this too much to ask for?
 
 
shame is good for you.
11 July 2005 @ 12:55 pm
Slowly but surely I am learning how to cook. Its a quite a process but I am surviving with edible food, and really, what more do you want from me?

For lunch today I made a Summer herb pesto and toasted some bread with butter and some basil.

Now I need to learn what sauces go well with what pasta and the whole wine thing.

I'm quite proud, it was good.

And now I'm going to go take a bath and get dressed and possibly wash the car, because I was suppose to do it a week ago.



Three weeks and I fold.
 
 
shame is good for you.
09 July 2005 @ 07:56 pm
John Mayer Trio--September 23 at the Quest.

I'm going goddamnit.



Lollapalooza--Saturday and Sunday July 23, 24.

At current, the band line up includes: Ambulance LTD, The Arcade Fire, Billy Idol, The Black Keys, Blonde Redhead, Blue Merle, The Bravery, Cake, Brian Jonestown Massacre, The Changes, The Dandy Warhols, Dashboard Confessional, Death Cab for Cutie, DeSoL, Dinosaur Jr., Digable Planets, G. Love & Special Sauce, Kaiser Chiefs, Kasabian, The Killers, Liz Phair, Los Amigos Invisibles, Louis XIV, M83, Pixies, The Redwalls, Tegan and Sara, The Walkmen, The Warlocks, Weezer, Widespread Panic, World Leader Pretend, Z-Trip.



I want to go SO bad you have no idea. Goddamn.
 
 
 
shame is good for you.
09 July 2005 @ 01:20 am
Im bored and awake and aggravated like nobodys business. Thus I peruse stories.


http://channels.netscape.com/ns/atplay/story.jsp?floc=FF-APO-1107&idq=/ff/story/0001/20050708/2159085660.htm&sc=1107


Haha. Heres the lesson folks. Yes, if your sheep friend jumps off a cliff, and so does another friend etc, it is perfectly acceptable to jump. As long as you aren't first and you land on top of them.



The South Carolina House's Judiciary Committee, voting in mid-April on two bills to upgrade the crimes of, respectively, gamecock fighting and spousal abuse, from misdemeanors to felonies, passed the former but tabled the latter for the remainder of 2005.


In May, sheriff's deputies in Albuquerque arrested four men on drug-trafficking charges with the inadvertent help of the 2-year-old son of one of the men, according to an Albuquerque Journal story. The father had accidentally locked his keys and his son inside his Cadillac SUV, and the boy had used the OnStar emergency button, which generated a phone call to the sheriff, and deputies arrived to find the father still pleading for his son to unlock the door (which OnStar eventually opened electronically). Deputies became suspicious at all the late-night hubbub and in a consensual search of a nearby trailer belonging to another of the men, found 1,700 pounds of marijuana. [Albuquerque Journal, 5-20-05]

Holy shit. That is a lot of weed. No shit they're trafficking.




MOSCOW (Reuters) - A young Russian man who dressed in women's clothes to take an exam for his sister was caught after his oversize bust gave him away, Interfax news agency reported Monday.

The youth's "unusually prominent female features," and heavy make-up drew security guards' attention and they stopped him from taking the test, Yasen Zasursky, dean of Moscow State University's journalism faculty, told the agency.




Gerardo Flores, 19, was convicted of murder in June in Lufkin, Texas, in the death of the 5-month-old fetus of his girlfriend, Erica Basoria. Flores admitted that he had stood on Basoria's stomach several times at her request to induce a miscarriage, but Basoria had told authorities that she had also punched herself in the stomach several times. Under Texas law, killing a fetus is a capital offense, and so Flores automatically received a life sentence, but Basoria could not be charged because of her constitutional right to abortion. [Washington Post-AP, 6-6-05]


And in Eltham, England, in May, a family's dog, chasing a ball, bumped the ladder on which a man was standing to trim some bushes with a chainsaw, causing him to fall and fatally slice the neck of his wife, who was holding the ladder.


James Carroll Bayley, 44, pleaded guilty in May to killing his brother, Robert, in an incident in Raleigh, N.C., in which James alleged that Robert had come by, drunk, to retrieve his power drill that James had borrowed. James told the judge that he certainly didn't mean to kill Robert, but had grabbed his gun for protection, then "shot him in the right leg to knock him down." "Then," said James, "after a short time, I shot him in the head to make him dizzy so he would fall." [Raleigh News & Observer, 5-3-05]


A man (identified in court papers as John Doe), who suffered injuries and sexual dysfunction 11 years ago when a woman unexpectedly changed positions during intercourse (and fell on him and fractured his penis), was again turned down in his attempt to sue the woman. The Court of Appeals of Massachusetts said in May that it would be impossible for a judge or jury to decide which movements in consensual sex were legally reasonable or unreasonable. [ABC News-AP, 5-16-05]


Julie Atkins, 38, of Derby, England, featured in a May BBC TV documentary on childbirth because her three daughters gave birth last year at, respectively, ages 12, 14 and 16, told the Sunday Mercury newspaper: "I don't care what people say about me. I blame the schools. Sex education for young girls should be better."


(1) Michael Lewis, 27, decided for some reason to fire his pellet gun at a .22-caliber bullet lying on a picnic table to see if he could hit it. He did; it exploded; and some of the bullet fragments lodged in his groin. He was hospitalized at Salina (Kan.) Regional Medical Center in March. (Police said alcohol was not involved, leaving "judgment" as the likely explanation.) (2) Justin Mitchell Oaks, 21, and his wife were miraculously uninjured after Oaks inadvertently drove their Toyota Corolla underneath an 18-wheeler on Interstate 10 in Tucson, Ariz., in April, got stuck, and was dragged 800 feet before the truck could stop. (Alcohol was not the problem here, either, but rather a cell-phone conversation.) [Salina Journal, 3-28-05] [Arizona Daily Star, 4-26-05]


Just humor me. Some of those were pretty good.
 
 
shame is good for you.
08 July 2005 @ 03:23 pm
You'll be given love
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love
You have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
You are staring at

So twist your head around
It's all around you
All is full of love
All around you





Death Cab last night. Amazing. They played 4 of my favorite songs, especially their encore of Transatlanticism. Holy Shit. I almost started to cry.

Made the realization that I don't want to be drunk to socialize anymore. Ive realized that people like me without being fucked up.

Which is more than I can say about you.

So tonight I will knit and listen to music and drink lemonade and be happy that I have a tan.





"You don't believe me? I would never lie to you."
"You lie so well. I don't know fact from fiction when I'm with you."
"Please. I love you. You don't understand. I'm completely honest with you. Especially when I sing."
"You always sound so sad when you sing."
 
 
shame is good for you.
07 July 2005 @ 02:40 am
So I learned how to knit last night. And I now I am a fiend. Knitting is so incredibly relaxing, etc.

I finished the ball of yarn Mary gave me last night and made a very fine... potholder? Of course, there are holes in it and I am amazing because I started with 16 stitches and ended up with 31. Go figure. So its a wavy potholder. An ugly, big, holey, lopsided potholder. Here you go Mum, Merry Christmas, Love Rachel.

Anyways today I finished that ball of yarn and I was chomping at the bit. I needed more knitting! Damnit! I could have ripped out my sad potholder and started over, but I wanted to keep that piece of shit so I can say, this was my first knitting experience and it was a damn fine one.

So my mom is like, I think Gram has knitting stuff in a box downstairs. My mom shows me the box and there are 20 million different needles and 20 balls of yarn. So I pick out some needles and the ugly ball of yarn I can find.

Seriously folks. It reminds me so much of old women and craft fairs. Its bold and many colors and just... purely amazing. Anyways, I get this shit together, teach myself to cast on and start knitting away.

I've knitted for awhile.

Its not really a scarf, its kind of big and one in which a rainbow collected all of its puke and spewed all over it. And its too big for the needles, length wise (because Im known to add stitches now. I went from 16 to 31... and for this I started with 62. So that sucker probably has doubled already) and I think the yarn is too thin for the needles too.

It is so goddamn fugly. I just want to use the entire ball of yarn and make this thing a fuckin table runner. I want to roll it up and then roll it out for my wedding when I walk down the aisle. Maybe I'll even make my wedding dress out of this shit. Hell yes. Who wants to marry me now? I know you do.

Even my mom was like... wow, it reminds me of walking into my aunt Flo's house in Northern Wisconsin in the 70's, in which all she did was knit the most disgusting things because thats all she could do in the cold cold winters.

So I shall be like great aunt Flo.. knitting ugly ugly table runners all winter long.

I felt like an old lady too because since Sunday my back had been KILLING me. Seriously. I siked myself out and told myself that I had a tumor and it was pressing against my back because for real I couldn't stand straight or walk or sleep or do anything. Its much better today, it just hurts a little. This bitch hurt more than when I fell off the ladder awhile ago. Thank God today it feels better and I can actually move around without thinking I'm going to fall over.

Tonight was Caro's. Mucho fun. Zach, I'm sorry Jordan was hitting on you. Actually I'm not. Grow the damn hair back.

Definitely almost 3 in the morning and I have to get up tomorrow and wash the car. Anyone who wants to help me wash the car and/or wants to wash their own car with the materials I provide is welcome. 11:30. My house. Give me a call.

And then go to Summerfest to get my wristband at like 1. And then sit around until I meet up with Zach etc. Then wait until 10 for the motherfuckin Death Cab concert.

Hell fucking yeah. I will be in the thick of things, as close as possible.

I am so excited, you have no idea.

Big sigh. I should go to bed. I need some quality sleep now that I'm not in constant pain.



Actually, what I really need is my motherfuckin iPod. Hint hint anyone? Kthanks. Now that I've made that painfully clear the last.. oh week? Kthanks. Drop my shit off or have me pick it up and that's what I call "I'M DONE WITH YOU."

Th-th-thats all folks!
 
 
shame is good for you.
02 July 2005 @ 07:07 pm
If I don't find a job in a week, I can't go back to Minnesota.

Maybe it hasn't hit me yet because I can't care enough about anything at this point, and I'll just add it to the list of Rachel's disappointments to her parents. I don't care about anything right now.

Thanks to the person that said I would have a job but hasn't called me at all this week and has been ignoring me. Thanks for fucking me up the ass, again.
 
 
shame is good for you.
01 July 2005 @ 12:34 pm
Definitely listening to JCS... again.

Yesterday, first day of Summerfest. It was a good crowd, more crowded than usual because of the Big Bang etc.

Lets start with my first bulletpoint.

1) So we go to Hart park, me Mary and Jordan. To do illegal activity (well not me). And we're sitting by the creek/river. We decide to leave, so I'm putting my red converse shoes on and I look down and all of a sudden I see the largest spider I have ever seen in the wild. So what do I do?

Kick my shoe off.

Into the river.

I am very depressed. Granted, the shoes smelled like ass but they were my red converse shoes. I had to go home, barefoot, and into my house holding one shoe, explaining to my parents that I threw my shoe into the river. They must have thought I was stoned (I was not). Just freaked out as hell.

So I've convinced my dad to buy me a new pair. Mostly because all the shoes I took to school are in two seperate places... and just so happens that one shoe from each pair is in the seperate locations. Thus, slim pickings.

2) Mary dropped her phone in the lake. Way to go team. It doesn't work.

3) Saw Cath, Caro, Carmen plus the various kids working at Summerfest. Good times.

4) Creepy moment: Guy thrusting a lighter into my face whilst trying to light a cigarette. Its okay buddy, I got it.

5) DRUNK girl talking to me, sharing my rock. She kept asking me to hold her WARM WARM beer and then said "take as much as you want". Christ. It was warm and she was drunk. Fortunately she left right when the fireworks started.

6) Awkward awkward. Why am I always in the middle? ALWAYS.



Goddamnit.